A Collection of Jim West Odes

bgreen5's Anniversay Thread

There is a young man from Decatur
For Odes he has been a long waiter
To his great surprise
These words greet his eyes
This Ode comes not sooner but later

An ode by Jim West to zaknafein

There is a young fellow named Zak
He hinted that I should come back
Some day I may play
But life's in the way
For now it's alas and alack 

whitson77's thread about asking ladies the funniest way they've been asked a question

If beauty you should recognize
And wish your sweetheart to apprise
Then whisper to her words so wise
"You are engaging to my eyes."

lee espinoza's thread about no longer being considered a minority

Hispanics are coming, a lot
A foothold and more they have got
The land they once owned
Retaken and zoned
And all without firing a shot 

DougF's thread about his daughter getting into trouble

There was a young girl on this day
In trouble for something they say
As cute as a bug
With cookie and hug
She melted her daddy away

An ode by Jim West in nachonaco's 10 Questions thread

Into her first novel immerse
The genius evil in verse
Events may unfurl
She conquers the world
Undoubtedly we could do worse

An ode by Jim West in the bgreen5 Love In thread

There is a young fellow bgreen
Whose writings are thoughtful and keen
I've urged him to write
A novel that's bright
To earn him some profits obscene 

brgreen's YAMM thread

There once was a man with a YAMM
Did not like green eggs and ham
His posts were deleted
I think he was cheated
But YAMM haters don't give a _ _ _ _

DaveBogart's thread about What he used to do

There was a young fellow named Dave
Relief from TV he did crave
With lots of advice
He thought once or twice
And then returned to his cave.

wendiness1's thread about being assigned a new address

There is a young lass up the street
The postman she soon hopes to meet
To ask "Where am I?"
His witty reply
To move without moving is neat

pianoman's thread to remind me about something

There was a young man without mouse
Not helping would make me a louse
So Richard take heed
It's optical you need
So buy it and bring down the house

An ode to Mavenelle in her Swang Song thread

There was a young lass Mavenelle
Who over us all cast a spell
Her posts were a hit
We'll miss her bright wit
We hope her life's plans prosper well

An ode by Jim West in the Richard/Lady Love-in Thread

It's nice to be cuddly and sweet
Be friends to all that you meet
A beacon of light
Of whom do I write?
Of Richard and Lady-our treat

Jim West in his Happy Birthday thread in 2005

There once was a fellow named West
Remember his birth with a jest
Or even an Ode
To brighten the road
And make his big day quite the best

TreborPugly's thread about weapons and being a kid

There was a young man with a knife
And near him the danger was rife
As daggers did fly
The angels would sigh
And struggle to spare his poor life

nachonaco's thread about having the Coolest. Day. Ever.

There was a young lass on a rope
Repelled down a 30 foot slope
To thundering cheers
She battled her fears
The mystery, how did she cope?

Samara's "I'm Board" thread

I thought that I would never see
A poem lovely as a tree

Some famous poet, not me,
Wrote this. It is still true,
despite Samsara's best
efforts.

dslunceford's thread about his leaving his job of 8 years for a new job

There is a young fellow named Steve
Informed his boss, "I must leave"
New job, better pay
Now Steve can go play
And leave his old boss time to grieve

scottjf8's thread on his 5000 YAMM

There is a young fellow named Scott
With 5,000 posts, quite a lot
His hospital stay
Has now gone away
Along with the unwelcome clot

TiVoOpsMgr's thread on his 1000 YAMM

Stephen had a little YAMM
That only he did know
And everywhere that Stephen went
The YAMM was sure to go

But when the time to post the YAMM
Approached without fanfare
Stephen missed the great event
And left his YAMM quite bare

Belated YAMMs don't have the zip
They neither shout nor chime
They're barely even better than
This poor belated rhyme

bareyb's thread about losing 105 pounds

There is a young man bareyb
He lost a few pounds, golly gee
To state it quite true
Lost more than a few
And now all his toes he can see

minorthr's thread on his 1000 YAMM

A meaningless milestone this week
One thousand posts as we speak
Three years to achieve
The norm I believe
But just a month's work for young SMeek.

Steavis's thread about his getting engaged

There was a young man with a girl
Their romance went by in a whirl
Proposal, no less
The answer was yes
Steavis engaged to a pearl

Lori's thread with an update on Pan Chun

There is a young fellow named Pan
A most remarkable man
No matter the hill
Climb it - he will
And soon he'll be back with the clan

An ode to TC member digdug

There is a young lad named digdug
No avatar - can't see his mug
Leave no unturned stone
We'll make him well known
This Ode is his personal plug

An ode about all the old-timers posting again

Some folks have been posting for years
We gather some boos and some cheers
We post from our room
Some use nom de plume
Our title should be PIONEERS

An ode to Jim West by David Platt 

Jim West is one hell of a poet.
For sure, he will quite often show it.
But for reading the posts
Before crafting his toasts,
Well, I think we can see he did blow it.

whoknows55's thread about Clutchbrake being missing for a while

Clutchbrake has been missing, alack
Perhaps he's asleep in the sack
His fate we must learn
To soothe our concern
This Ode might hurry him back

Nachonaco's thread about her father's birthday

To be forty is very sublime
Enough to encourage this rhyme
While Ekims eats cake
We hope for his sake
His parachute lands on a dime

racer21's thread about his experience with a lady and a sandwhich in a movie theater

The sandwich she brought as a perk
In a dark movie she'd lurk
Disturbing her peers
With noise to their ears
You tell me, who is the jerk?

Lori's 3000 YAMM thread

I once wrote an Ode for sweet Lori
Attempted to drape her in glory
Three thousand posts later
And still we can rate 'er
A star in our forum's true story

gobiewankenobi's Limerick Thread

There was a young man from Nantucket
Saw a train and thought he would luck it
His car a fast ride
At crossing they tied
They carried him home in a bucket

Samsara's thread about a splinter

A splinter Samsara did find
Presented some fear in his mind
The point of this verse
It could have been worse
Suppose it was in his behind

rhuntington's thread about Soup or Salad

There is a young man who likes soup
Whether alone or a group
But if he should slurp
Or render a burp
He soon will be out of the loop

Bryanmc's thread about zipper fly jeans

There is a young fellow named Bryan
Made 12,000 posts without tryin'
He keeps us in stitches
But trouble with britches
Reduced him to screaming and cryin'

An ode to Jim West by Francesco

There is a young man named West
With a talent for rhyme he is bless'd
Most of us, we are curs'd,
I believe I am worst,
Look no further than Jim for the best!

pcgrrll's thread about her daughter's picture in the news paper

There was a young lass on a rope
With gravity stress she could cope
Her skill at the game
Earned cover girl fame
'Twas more than her mother could hope

mt1's "How many TC members does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" thread

There once was a bulb that was light
It needed screwed in to be right
The TCs convened
Pondered and gleaned
Got drunk before solving their plight

btwyx's thread about missing a YAMM

There is a young man in a jam
Completely neglected his YAMM
Now we'll never know
If wisdom would flow
Or only the makings of spam

ScottE22's thread about his Big Job Interview

There is a young man with a raise
A powerbook due him in days
A baby soon here
The world full of cheer
Not even soiled diapers can faze

timckelley's thread about his wife's checking account mistake

With limited time poor old Jim
His chances of Oding are grim
But sometimes at night
If the stars align right
He churns out on Ode on a whim

Leon WIlkinson's Pain and Suffering thread

There was a young man on a ladder
He fell and it made him much madder
His pinkie is sore
His head aches some more
And some missed his joke, that is sadder

timmyg's 500 YAMM thread

There is a young man with a post
He wishes to make it the most
Be careful you see
Don't hit the wrong key
Or else your great post will be toast

rhuntington3's "I'm back from my vacation" thread

Well Richard went off on a raid
He and his relatives played
With him gone, not cool
So we passed a rule
No birthdays allowed while he strayed

Marc's 1000 YAMM thread

There is a young fellow named Marc
He posted his YAMM on a lark
To miss housing woes
To Pittsburg he goes
Perhaps a bench in the park

RickStrobel's thread about the birth of his son

There is a young fellow named Rick
He married a pretty young chick
Along came a son
But that's only one
A daughter is next, that's the trick

jradosh's ode to Nachonaco after her surgery

iodine makes her hair a sight
and stitches itches every night.
but nachonaco still will write
her posts - witty, warm and bright.

AstroDad's thread about no longer being a newbie

What is a bie that is new?
Jan says it's one newer than you
Regardless of rule
No one thinks it's cool
Dare call us a Newbie, we'll sue

Ekims thread about Nachconaco's surgery

They opened her head for a look
Found genius cells in a nook
They did a repair
Her humor's still there
And Naco is smarter'n a book

timmyg1234's Rhyming Game Thread

There is a young thread without rhyme
The words have no rhythm nor chime
A nostril you see
No matching can be
Such words to a poet are crime

Jim West on his birthday thread

There is a young fellow named West
This thread his birth will attest
To hear from some pals
The guys and the gals
Just proves that his birthday is blessed

Saturn's 4000 YAMM thread

There is a young man suffered pain
He studied so hard for his gain
The goal is quite near
So soon we will hear
He's master of all his domain

bgreen5's thread about a missing McDonald's thread

bgreen's having fun it is said
Pretending he can't find a thread
Perhaps in the lurch
While making his search
He'll find his own needle instead

Kablemodem's YAMM thread

A Rose is a Rose is a Rose
A lover of poetry and prose
If we bring a smile
Just once in a while
We're happy and hope that it shows

Kablemodem's YAMM thread

There was a potato name YAM
Ignored all advice as a sham
Being naughty she peeled
The male taters squeeled
And captured her act with a cam

minorthr's thread about his kid playing with their Tivo remote

There is a young lad with remote
Someone his parents can dote
With buttons to play
He'll have a great day
With TiVo remote he can tote

Thaed's thread about having a stressful day

There is a young man with a wish
Some soothing and beautiful fish
Let's hope his luck's high
No cats lurking by
Or fish may become a fine dish

MonsterJoe's thread with pictures of his baby daughter

Olivia's beauty in print
Her future I'll give you a hint
With beauty and brains
The heights she attains
Could make her a great president

Bryanmc's thread sarcastically complaining about YAMM thread's

There is a young fellow named Scott
Who pines for a YAMM while he's hot
Well 350 plus
Is hardly a wuss
So here is a YAMM for his pot

Bryanmc's thread sarcastically complaining about YAMM thread's

This YAMMING has got out of hand
We'll soon have a team and a band
With cheerleader YAMMS
And quite a few hams
It's just about all we can stand

whoknows55's 5000 YAMM thread

Who knows what YAMMs are in store
whoknows55 has some more
If Raj tests his morals
And rests on his laurels
whoknows may run up the score

montag's YAMM thread

So Montag has posted a YAMM
With hardly a glimmer of spam
He's been here a while
And posted with style
We thank the proverbial MAAM

Raj's 7000 YAMM thread

There is a young fellow in town
Whose status will never go down
When Raj finds his spot
There's gold in the pot
He'll soon be a man of renown

omnibus' "If youse guys don't stop hijacking these threads I'm going to take my keyboard and go" thread

There is a young thread with a theme
It's going nowhere it would seem
First yon and then hither
Leaves me in a dither
Perchance it is all just a dream

drewman's thread about procrastination

Procrastination is an art
And most of us can share the blame
I plan to sure procrastinate
When old death's angel calls my name

jsmeeker's thread about Satchel appearing in the newspaper

There was a young man on a roof
Tis true and not just a spoof
We thought he had nerve
Considerable verve
And now we have visual proof

koki's "Joke of the day" thread

There was a young man with some soap
Too little, too many to cope
His effort to stop
Was quite a big flop
Next time he'll get soap on a rope

Mabes' "Enjoy every sandwich" thread

Man lives not solely by bread
Inside there must be a spread
The options are legion
And differ by region
The Earl of Sandwich so said

retrodog's thread reminding us that he's still around even though he now has a girlfriend

There is a young man with a grin
A pity date he did win
Of her he's quite fond
With tresses of blonde
Let's hope there's no cat in her den

Ereth's "Happy Valentines Day" thread

If I should write a valentine
To all the ladies on the line
I'd send you love to fill the day
Wish you the best in every way

With Ereth's flowers to start the day
This little Ode add to the play
Forbidden food - a little wine
Not too bad a Valentine

Ereth's "Happy Valentines Day" thread

A rose is a rose is a rose
Delightful to eye and to nose
By one or by dozen
They keep the heart buzzin'
While lauded by poem and by prose

retrodog's "Who killed Jim West" thread

There is a young man who is pure
Words were never said truer
A pulse he still owns
With meat on his bones
The rumors of death - premature

dmagill's 100 YAMM thread

100 years is a century.
A person 100 years old is honored.
100 pennies makes a dollar.
100 is an important number, so, yes,
dmagill is now somebody.

Steavis' thread from his girlfriend Erica

Now Erica thickens the plot
As Steavis gives hints she's quite hot
The forum's new task
The skeptics must ask
Is she a real person or not?

Fustanella's thread about Dan203's 11111 YAMM

Dan, Dan, he's our man
If he can't do it - forget it

Based on old school yell - example:
Jim, Jim, he's our man
If he can't do it, no one can.
[This is repeated for each of
the local heroes on the team]

In Dan's case, if he can't do it, 
it can't be done.

retrodog's "I'm suing David Bott" thread

To summons poor David is crass
He'll claim we're a class without class
His lawyer will cross
We'll be at a loss
It's caveat emptor, alas

walters's thread telling us he is now a Master Inventor

Now Walters has burst on the scene
Inventions are known to be keen
His next famous deed
Invent what we need
Perpetual motion machine

ManOfSnow's thread about getting engaged

There is a young fellow named Snow
No renter's insurance to show
More needed to take
Insurance to make 
Their marriage to prosper and grow

Ereth's "There is a thread, a merry old thread" thread

There are some young fellows who rhyme
With reason and words quite sublime
Sometimes we may fail
No need to post bail
Lame poems are not a high crime

ybrew's thread about his problems with people in St. Louis

There is a young man with a nag
Nagged on til the nagee did gag
Nagee pestered Two
Two's face turned quite blue
Dropped money in ybrew's cash bag

Damian's thread about him eloping

Young couple decide to elope
No in-laws to meddle or mope
In honeymoon land
Their life will be grand
With money they've saved they can cope

emily's thread telling us she got promoted

There is a young lass due some praise
A Trainer no problem can faze
Promotion's a hit
But only if it
Includes a tidy new raise

retrodog's thread asking for advice for Tj and his new girlfriend

There is a young man in a whirl
We hope he has found quite a pearl
So soon he will learn
To twist and to turn
'Cause no man can fathom a girl

macquariumguy's thread to tell us he's off on vacation

There is a young man with elation
He's off on a well earned vacation
Airbrushes and paints
Draw sinners or saints
Return as an art world sensation

Jim's own thread with an ode to ehopper

ehopper could set a nice pace
He posted with wit and with grace
In death he still gives
As part of him lives
In the hearts and the minds of this place

Ereth's "Silliness" thread

The weather is getting quite chilly
We're posting fun things willy nilly
Expressing our wit
The half that is nit
And some might consider this silly

whitson77's thread about Bryanmc's son

There is a young angel we know
Who had us all feeling so low
The prayers were sincere
Best wishes were dear
The heart of the forum did show

The forum has granted her fame
Each milestone will garner acclaim
Now Bryan my friend
There's time for an end
You must give this sweet lass a name

ClutchBrake's "The new Ereth" thread

There is a young person with powers
With words to enliven the hours
When Tori expounds
Envision fine sounds
While sentences bloom as the flowers

And Ereth might turn a new leaf
By trying to be wise and quite brief
But habits die hard
All hands be on guard
C. Brown might explain it "Good Grief."

unixadm's thread about having over a terabyte of disk space at home

There is a young man who is bright
Enjoying a full terabyte
You must understand
His data at hand
Any fact in the world he can cite

DaveBogart's thread about not smoking his pipe for 4 days straight

Escape from the habit's no joke
It's hard to resist that old smoke
But if you succeed
Then you will indeed
Be able to breathe and not choke

Xaa's thread about himself being wrong

There is a young man with a plight
Searching for wrongs in the night
Two wrongs he did find
But just keep in mind
Two wrongs do not make a right

QueenBee's 2000 YAMM thread

There is a young lady named Bee
On 9 and 11 she's free
Her 2,000th post
Permits her to coast
Still Queen of this forum you see

walters "What's your thing here?" thread

There is a young man in his prime
Sometimes he is quick with a rhyme
A poet I detect
May get no respect
Perhaps I'll upgrade to a Mime

retrodog's on jsmeeker's 13000 YAMM

There is a young fellow named Meeker
Of truth he is a true seeker
He has fame galore
And if he wants more
Perhaps he could be a fast streaker

debtoine's "How may TC's does it take..." thread

They gathered around in a buzz
To think what a lightbulb just does
Brad gave it a turn
Said "Burn, Baby, burn
Let there be light", and there was

Lori's "I hate Saturday's" thread

Some people may sit and write code
Others may just hit the road
If I should get bored
Right out of my gourd
I'll knock out a miserable Ode

A thread about Tivo withdrawl

Life without TiVo's a flaw
Withdrawal is tough
Withdrawl speak is rough
I think I had better withdraw

Turtleboy thread about him taking a day off from the forum

Return of the busy bee posters
Knownzero defines them as mosters
They must row the boat
To hold it afloat
Keep up with those old flying toasters

smak's thread about California

There is a young fellow named Smak
Who hid his face in a sack
But now he's come out
To govern no doubt
By joining the recall attack

timmyg1234's "And then the duck said" thread

There was a young duck in a lake
Left ripples and waves in his wake
A hunter walked by
The duck quacked too high
The quack was a fatal mistake

TivoRox asking about Jim in Ereth's "My most serious ever" thread

There is a young fellow named Jim
Who only writes Odes on a whim
Now Ereth has the girls
And poems like bright pearls
The outlook for Jim is quite grim

Drewster's thread about the birth of his son

The birth of a gallant young king
Great things his presence will bring
The folks will assemble
Goliath will tremble
When David comes into the ring

Steavis' "Unrequited love" thread

There is a young man with a date
Which proves it is never too late
With breath that is bated
The forum has waited
To learn if love is Steve's fate

Philosofy's "You are banned from this forum..." thread

There is a young man in the fold
Whose Odes are written quite bold
Replace him you bade
But when he was made
They threw away all of the mold

David Bott asking us to cut down on useless poll threads

Now when is a poll not a poll?
When it has no wit and no soul 
Dave's stated his case
Make wise use of space
Or risk being labeled a troll

A repsonse to Graymalkin in daperlman's thread about an Arkansas official

There is a young fellow named Gray
Poked fun at my state I must say
Alack and alas
Much time will need pass
Before a new Ode comes his way

rhuntington3's YAMM thread

There is a young man who's a whiz
The Birthday threads are his biz
Spring, summer or fall
Remembers them all
But does he remember -- his?

Samsara's "I'm so bored" thread

There is a young Samsara guy
So bored he comes dropping by
Stirring up ghosts
With whimsical posts
Brought quite a big tear to my eye

Bradc314's thread about being on his own for a few days

You party right out of your mind
All kinds of excitement to find
But watch where you go
For all that you know
Her detective may be just behind

cnshough's thread about killing ants

Are we now in trouble perchance
For killing those tough little ants?
Should they go on a binge
While seeking revenge
We could find the ants in our pants

IndyJones1023's thread about his brother signing up on the forum

There is a young fellow today
Whose brother has led him astray
Lured into this den
We know not his sin
His sentence - to stay here and play

Bradc314's "Where did Jim West go?" thread

There is a young fellow named West
Who wandered away from the nest
With various loads
Too busy for Odes
While giving his poor brain a rest

JohJr's ode to Jim West

Once in a flyer he comes home
a veteran of TiVo Forum
Shots for two are free
but three is a mindset
it's Jim and and he's free!

bobjohnson's ode to Jim West

There once was a legend named West.
Tis said his odes were the best.
One day he just left,
Leaving all quite bereft, 
Hopefully this ode passed his test.

Jim West responding to bobjohnson and JohnJr's odes

In Oding young John has the nerve
Then followed by Bob with some verve
It's nice to be missed
Much better than dissed
And more than I really deserve

Ereth's "Valentine for the Ladies... " thread

There are some bright ladies we know
Who help make this old forum go
On Valentine's Day
We come here to say
Our status is better than quo

retrodog 5000 YAMM thread

There is a young man with a dog
Made 5,000 posts at a jog
If brought up to speed
He soon would succeed
In leaving us all in a fog

urggghh's "Saying thank you to Otto" thread

There is a young man with a brain
His leaving is causing us pain
We'll miss his great wit
Broad knowledge fast writ
His life, we're hoping, will gain

Lori's "Alas, poor Lori. :)" thread

There is a young lady named Lori
New venture is quite a big story
When riches she gains
Her business she reigns
We'll surely all bask in her glory

Dusty's thread asking for an update on ybrew's surgery

There was a young chap with a stone
Removal with hardly a groan
While still under gas
Ybrew had the class
To post with his state of art phone

ybrew's "I don't understand women at all... " thread

To understand girls is a breeze
They're easy to court and to please
Just meet their each whim
With vigor and vim
You'll never be faced with a freeze

Graymalkin's 4000 YAMM thread

There is a young fellow named Gray
Three years he's had things to say
With four thousand marks
Some cool and some sparks
We hope he has come here to stay

BrettStah's "Eat my dust, Mr. Bott!!!" thread

There is a young fellow named West
Who once was seen posting with zest
Then came overload
His posting quite slowed
And even young Brett will soon best

justapixel's flattery thread

There is a young Pixie named Ann
Of her we are quite a fan
And then there came "not"
Is she or he hot?
Or just a big flash in the pan?

Mike Lang's "Congrats unixadm!" thread

There is a young man now a Mod
His brilliance has earned him the nod
If subjects get rare
Or tempers should flare
He'll need to be wiser than God

trojanrabbit's "Happy Birthday rhuntington3!" thread

There is a young man we all see
He's known as rhuntington3
Our birthdays he knows
Good thoughts he bestows
His own we now honor with glee

ManOfSnow's thread about his birthday, his drivers license and the DMV

There is a young man of Snow
To DMV he did go
Renew he would but
He found the place shut
To honor his birthday we know

TiVoPony welcoming aboard TiVoShanan

There is a young lady with nerve
Came into the forum to serve
Sometimes it gets rough
We hope she is tough
And laughs when we throw her a curve

ybrew's about his wife's water breaking

There is a new kid on the block
He's bound to be a great jock
The kid will excel
Shoot free throws so well
I'll have to retire in pure shock.